Common sense with Bella Swan
by Annilicious
Summary: What Twilight would have been with a different Bella, a Bella with a little more common sense despite her mental disorders.
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I don't hate twilight or anything, but this was on my mind, enjoy!

It's really really hot here! I'm going to get baked like an egg! I know I told my mom I'd miss this place, but I was so glad to leave and not be boiled alive! One thing for sure though, there was no way I was going to leave Shane behind! Shane, my long term beset friend ever forever and ever. Renee judged me a lot about it "Shane is a cactus Bella; he can't be your best friend because he's a plant and he can't feel!" Oh my gosh shut up! Leave me alone!

I inhaled the hot air that could possibly burn my lungs closed my eyes and walked forward slowly. I was holding Shane in his brown pot; he was about the size of my hand and I felt like a bride walking down the aisle about to marry my best friend in the world.

"Uhhmm Bella? Are all right?" asked Charlie I opened my eyes and I had no idea I was already at the car.

"Shut up Charlie! Always ruining everything!" I said and got in the car slamming the door. I could hear Renee and Charlie talking about me from outside.

"I just know you can't handle her I just know it" said Renee

"Of course I can handle her, she's my daughter too you know!" he said.

"Ugh whatever I'll tell you how she should be treated. She needs constant attention to make sure she doesn't do anything stupid like kill herself; she failed the year so I would suggest getting her a good tutor, she's not mentally stable so try not to get manipulated, she's a good liar and the cactus's name is Shane, don't make the mistake of saying it's not a real person" she instructed.

"Shane? W-what?"

"It's her imaginary friend" she whispered. She thought she was so sneaky, but she wasn't because I heard her! "Also, crush some smarties candy and leave it around the house, she'll think its meth, that way she won't do real drugs" she said.

So the meth was smarties this whole time? How dare she lie to me like this? This is unacceptable!

"Wait what?" asked Charlie dumbfounded. I could not see his face, only the back of his head, but if I could I have the feeling he'd have a very dumb expression plastered on his face.

"Charlie this one is important you better DO IT!" Renee threatened.

"I will calm yo' tits" said Charlie raising his arms as if he got caught by the police. Ironic that would turn out to be for mister Chief Swan.

"NO SARCASM! Bella does not appreciate sarcasm and she will go crazy hysterical if you say some smart comment like that, got it!"

"Yeah, got it"

I sighed from inside the car and looked away, this conversation was not fun to eavesdrop on at all. It was worth it though, now you see all the lies you've lived with. Smarties, the meth was a lie.

"Can you believe that Shane? I can't believe I was inhaling a candy this whole time! I should minus well hear all the other lies I've been living" I told Shane and looked back out the window.

"Bella has a bipolar disorder, aspergers, ADHD and Tourette syndrome that makes her stutter a lot, but she doesn't know and I suggest you keep it that way" she said.

"W-What? I-I don't stutter a lot!" I argued with Shane "I just did it didn't I? Crap!"

"Here's her medication and the prescription, remember she thinks it's because of her asthma, which she also has" said Renee giving Charlie some medicine bottles from her purse.

After that they hugged and said their goodbyes. I was so pissed right now I couldn't even control my own breathing and I just wanted to punch something so bad! I hate this world! I hate my life! This was defiantly going to be a long ride for Carle because I was going to make sure of it!


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Yea, everyone in my twilight world everyone's retarded, and you haven't even seen Edward, he's the main retard. Enjoy! Review maybe?

"And that's how you make cereal" I concluded my tutorial for Charlie about the arts of making cereal.

"Interesting" he said and then began to eat his breakfast. Compared to him I seemed to be the most skilled cook in the universe and the goddess of organized and clean houses. Today would be the first day on a new school for me, it really sucked. "You know Bella, I think you should try to make friends this year" he said.

"What's that supposed to mean huh?"

"Oh uh nothing, nothing! Just you should, uh, socialize more "he said.

"Socialize? What's that?"

"It's when you talk to other people and communicate with them in person"

"Oh no, I can't do that, I just can't" I said seriously.

"You should try it, it's fun" he said

"Then why don't you do it?" I asked and he didn't answer, he just kept eating his cereal. Exactly Mr. Chief Swan, it's not easy to talk to people huh? "Look, I need to go now, unfortunately" I announced putting on my jacket and my backpack "Bye Charlie, bye Shane" I said and headed out.

"Bye Bella, have a good day" said Charlie.

I got out the door and went to my bike. The funniest thing happened yesterday: when I got here I was welcomed by Billy and my childhood friend Jacob. It was such a long time since I've seen him, that douche! You see the three of them made this little prank thing where they thought it'd be funny to convince me Charlie got me a car when it was actually a bike. I did not think it was funny and, for starters, I wasn't in a good mood after discovering all the LIES! But I didn't want to come off as the asshole I was to Jacob so I sucked it in and kept my cool. It's funny how you can keep something you never had. I got on my bike and headed off to school, it was actually pretty nice, the hair blowing through my hair and face, my shirt flowing around and I could just feel people laughing at my lame bicycle. Hopefully I won't have to socialize for another year.

"Hey, you're Isabella Swan right?" asked a boy while I was walking to class.

Oh shit! I'm really screwed now.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: I got 2 reviews/ comments and that's probably all I'll ever get for this. No, I don't hate twilight, this was just on my mind for a while…and now it's on the internet, well that's good. I can't wait for breaking dawn part 2, but at the same time it'll be bad because it will be the end =/. Anyway, enjoy! Edward might not seem retarded right now, but trust me, further into the story you'll see he's main retard right after Bella.

Oh my God! Why does everyone know me? It's so annoying, they say it's because of the school newspaper thing, but what did they write about? "A new girl just moved to Forks and is attending our high school" really? It would be something if they included my mental disorders though. "Isabella Swan, a 17 year old girl from Phoenix has severe mental health issues: ADHD, aspergers, bipolar disorder and Tourette syndrome so you better be careful with her!" now that would be something. But they don't know about my problems, not even I did until recently.

Anyway, I met new people today: Eric, Mike and Jessica. It wasn't fair because I was practically forced to socialize, no matter how much I've tried to end the conversation they would just ask something else. Ugh whatever. They asked me to sit with them in lunch and I said yes.

"This is Angela, she takes the pictures for the school newspaper" said Mike when we sat down on the table.

"Hi" I greeted and did the best I could to smile. It probably came out as awkward, I could tell because of her awkward smile in response.

"Hi, you must be Isabella Swan" she said.

"Yeah, I go mostly b-by Bella though" I said, god damn quit stuttering!

"Okay, cool" she said.

They all began to talk about stuff that I honestly didn't care enough to hear. I had this very weird feeling tough, it gave me chills. I looked at the door and a dude walked in, he even seemed to do it in slow motion. Was he mocking me?

"That's Edward. He's totally gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him" explained Jessica, I turned to look at her when the dude looked at me, it was too awkward for me to take.

"R-really? Then what if he's gay?" I asked, it was a possibility. (A/N: That'd be the first thing I would think, or maybe he just likes his loneliness)

"I guess I really never thought about that" she admitted thoughtfully and then shook it off and joined the conversation with the rest.

I got another chill and looked back behind me and there he was, staring at me. Oh God, did he hear me? No, that's impossible he was too far away. Then what's his problem? I stared back at him, but then a blond girl at his table stared at me and it was a two against one stare off. That was so unfair! Eventually they won and I got back with the people I met.

I found out I had Edward for biology and I had to sit right next to him, but he just stormed out of the classroom when I got there. Screw him then, I might be stupid but I can understand he hates me and all he doesn't need to overreact! Geez and later that day I overheard him trying to change his schedule, what's his problem?

He missed a week of school after that, thank God, I probably couldn't take any more of his crap anymore. During that week I did more of that socialize thing and Charlie congratulated me on taking one step of the "Not ending up forever alone system". I think he got too personal with this. Unfortunately for me Edward came back to school, ugh as long as I avoid his face I'll be okay.

"Hello, I'm Edward, sorry I didn't get the chance to introduce myself last week, you must be Bella Swan" he said at one point in class. Hold up! Did he just say Bella and not Isabella? I never told him to call me by my nickname did I? Great, apparently now I have amnesia.

"Do I know you?" I asked and silently congratulated myself for not stuttering. Plus one for Bella! Now I only needed 185739975475885485987 points to have a 0!

"Well, not actually, but we're biology partners so it won't hurt to get to know each other" he said. I've got to admit, that was a pretty good answer, couldn't argue with that.

"True, true. Yeah I'm ISABELLA Swan, but you can call me Bella" I said "Nice to meet you Edward" I looked at him in the eyes, and now that he wasn't challenging me into a stare off to the death, I saw he had beautiful topaz eyes, they didn't really seem natural though "You wear contacts?" I asked bluntly, he tensed a little.

"No, I don't" he answered firmly pressing his lips, which probably had Maybelline on them.

"Okay, nice eyes" I said and paid attention to the class. I didn't understand anything, why did I have to be so stupid? It's amazing how easily distracted I can get, one second I would be so determined to actually pay attention in class and the next I would be daydreaming of sky castles and unicorns pooping rainbows, or maybe a bird or butterfly would pass by, sometimes I would just get lost in my own thought. Kind of like I'm doing right now, oh wait… damn I did it again!

Once I noticed I was getting distracted by the thought of how often I got distracted (distractthoughtception!) and decided to listen to class, the teacher asked us to find something using the microscope. Yeah, I'm pretty much screwed at this point.

"Ladies first" said Edward pushing it towards me.

"Y-Yeah" I said pushing it back to him, oh wait. I took it back and tried not to laugh, I probably pissed him off. I looked into it like I actually had an idea of what I was doing and then gave it to him.

"So?" he asked.

"Weird and small" I said and he looked confused.

"Do you…"

"No" I interrupted; I just knew he was going to ask if I knew what I was doing and the answer, clearly, was no.

Once it was time to leave, about freaking finally, I was getting ready to leave on my pink bike. Yeah, to finish it off the bike was pink! I looked behind me and there was Edward staring at me again. God what did he want! I decided to ignore him; I wasn't going to let him faze me with his bullshit.

Suddenly a van swerved and was about to hit me, crap what now? I was too stupid to just run away and just stood there like an idiot, oh if only someone could save me! (A/N: obvious sarcasm is obvious) Never mind, I'll just turn around, push the bike off and run like hell.

Then suddenly two long, white hands shot out protectively in front of me, and the van shuddered to a stop a foot from my face, the large hands fitting providentially into a deep dent in the side of the van's body. I hit my head pretty hard, but I saw Edward. I must be schizophrenic now because just a few seconds ago I saw him on the other side of the parking lot.

"W-wha? E-edward what the fuck?" I could barely ask weakly. He quickly left and I was just left there dumbfounded, maybe this really was just in my messed up head.

I was taken to some doctor after that, it was still kind of a blur to me, but once I was completely conscious I saw an extremely hot doctor attending me. Oh God, that does not sound right, I probably hit my head too hard. He said I'd be ok and Charlie was giving the guy that drove the car a hard time. I was about to give Edward a pretty hard time too, I really appreciated he saved my life, but I really wanted to get an explanation as to how he ran so fast.

"HEY!" I called him while he was walking in the hallway, did he bring me here? Whatever, I don't care right now. He turned and walked to me.

"What do you want?" he asked. I ask myself the same question.

"H-how did you get to me so fast when you were on the other side of the parking lot and how did you stop the van?" I asked immediately and then noticed how rude I was "Oh, and thanks for saving me" I added.

"You're welcome, and I was right next to you Bella, I didn't stop the van I just pushed you aside" he said. LIES! He was an awful liar too, if you're going to lie at least do it right.

"What? You seriously expect me to believe that?"

"Well it makes more sense than super speed and strength" he mumbled.

"You hate my guts, why would you be right next to me?" I pointed out

"I barely even know you and I was there by your side all the time. You hit your head pretty hard, so maybe that's why you don't remember" he said.

"That is offensive! Are you implying I'm crazy? I may be stupid, but I'm not schizophrenic…yet" I argued.

"Look, I'm really sorry I saved your life and offended you" he said. I may have aspergers, but even I could tell he was being sarcastic.

"Whatever, I'm very grateful you saved my life, but I'm going to find out exactly what you are" I warned.

"Are you implying I'm not human? That is offensive!" he mocked me and then chuckled a little. Oh that mother… fricker.

"Yes I'm implying you're not human and I don't care if it's offensive!" I said, heck I'm glad it's offensive! How would he feel if someone acted as if you were some sort of creep and storm out of class once he saw you? He'd feel offended of course!

"You're not going to drop this right?" he asked serious, he looked a little angry. That was a pretty stupid question honestly.

"Does it look like I'm going to drop this?" I answered his stupid and unnecessary question with another question. He seemed a little angrier, then turned around and left.

No, I defiantly wasn't going to let this slip. Why? Because I don't have a life.

A/N: Yussss detective Bella to the rescue. BTW by retard I I mean extremely stupid, not mentally challenged. If I refer to a mentally challenged (autism, down syndrome) person I would refer to him/her as mentally challenged. If the person is just abnormally stupid i refer to him/her as a retard. Just putting that out there to not offend anyone because there is a huge difference between retard and mentally challenged in my dictionary, if it offends you I'm truly sorry. Bella has a social autism (aspergers) in this story, but she's high functioning and the things she does is by her stupidity, not her autism. She's kind of an asshole too and autism is no excuse for that, therefore, she's a retard in my dictionary.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: The stuff in the story isn't all according to the book, that's why it's a fan fiction, a stupid one at that, so don't expect it to have all the events in the book. Sorry if there are any mistakes, when I proofread I tend to miss a few words. Enjoy!

I woke up this morning to find that an abnormally cold day awaits me. Maybe it was abnormal for me, but it was probably an everyday thing for people who have lived in Forks longer. I got up and started getting ready for school: cleaned my face, brushed my teeth, had a hard time deciding whether to brush my hair today or not and ended up brushing it and got dressed. It was at the time when I had started to get my backpack ready that I face palmed at the complete and total fail I was: it was Saturday and I was getting ready to go to school, nice job Bella you dumbass. Oh well, I should just get breakfast ready since I got up so early now. Charlie was probably still asleep, he had this weekend off.

"Good morning Shane!" I greeted my best friend and started making eggs and ham.

I started to think up some theories for what Edward could be. He could be an alien or maybe a merman. That'd be cool, but if he was a merman he'd be seducing everyone like a slut because mermaids drown people, right? Besides what would he be doing on earth anyway? An alien makes much more sense, he probably crashed here for being the dumbass he is and is trying to find his way back home, that's why he doesn't date weak little humans. He probably screams at his robot dog that he hates all these filthy humans, now that would be something. Jessica said that the Cullens don't go out on beautiful sunny days; I wonder what that's all about. Ugh I probably had too much smartie powder yesterday, why am I even thinking of that jerk Edward anyway? It's a beautiful day to go out and… oh who am I kidding it's fucking freezing outside, and even if it really was a pretty day, let's face it I was just going to watch movies and eat ice-cream with Shane by my side all day anyway.

Once I was done making breakfast I ate my half of it and saved Charlie's half. I waited for him but he just wouldn't wake up so I just ate with Shane. I wonder what movies I'll watch today, oh wait I have homework! Damn! It was to grade me because of my sudden change of schools. Teachers had to submit grades next Friday so they gave me extra works to grade me. Why bother? I was going to fail anyways. It was halfway through the school year and I felt pretty proud of myself for passing so far, barely passing, but passing nonetheless. But that was in Phoenix so I have no idea if this school will be harder to pass.

"Oh well, let's get down to business and do all the homework!" I said and fist pumped stupidly "You with me Shane?" I asked looking at him "Y-yeah…" I sighed and went to get my backpack.

I finished my English homework very quickly and, with struggle and some internet help, I did my math homework, but I knew it was going to be hell to do my biology homework, especially when it's the subject I suck at the most. Before starting it I went to get some more smartie powder from the kitchen. Charlie was awake and he was in the living room watching T.V. I probably spent much more time on my math homework that what I thought I did.

"Good morning?" I had no idea if it was morning or afternoon right now, the morning was pretty cloudy and on days like these I could never tell when it was afternoon.

"Good afternoon Bella" he said. Afternoon? I spent a ridiculous amount of time on math homework; I better hurry up if I want Sunday free to watch movies "Thanks for breakfast. Are you doing your homework?"

"Yeah" I said bummed about it.

"Are you having trouble with it?"

"Yeah, kind of"

"Figured, I got you a tutor" he said.

"A tutor? Why? I can handle myself thank you very much, I don't need a nerd to tell me what to do"

"He's just going to help you understand a little better" he said and there were knocks on the door "That must be him, why don't you go open the door and welcome him?" he said and continued to watch T.V. I mumbled curses under my breath and went to greet the nerd; I opened the door and nearly had a heart attack.

"Hi Bella" greeted Edward. I shut the door at his face and twitched a little at how pissed off I was.

"Charlie!" I called clearly not happy with him.

"Yes?" he asked ignoring the fact I was furious.

"Are you kidding me? A guy from my class, really?"

"He's a very bright guy, straight A student and he's helped others before, specifically children, I thought he'd be of great help for you" he said completely calm, but I knew he was laughing on the inside "Now open the door and let him in" he told me. What was done was done and I couldn't change it right now and I was too old to throw a temper tantrum, so I opened the door ant bit my tongue to avoid not yelling at Edward. He smiled enjoying my misery; I could just tell by his stupid little smirk, it wasn't even a smile.

"Hi Bella" he greeted.

"H-hello E-Edward" I greeted back, no I was probably stuttering out of pure anger and not because of m Tourette syndrome.

"May I come in?" he asked. I just nodded and moved aside to let him in.

"Is that a yes?" he asked. Are you kidding me? Was he trying to make this had on me?

"Y-Yes you may come in!" I said and he walked inside and greeted Charlie.

"Good afternoon Mr. Swan" he greeted. Charlie got up and walked to him to shake his hand.

"Hello, you're Carlisle's son right? Edward" Charlie asked for confirmation.

"You are correct" answered Edward, I just really wanted to rip m hair off, but it took me so long to grow it out so I kept calm and carried on.

"I've heard great things from you. Thank you for coming here and spearing some of your time to help Bella with her grades. She really appreciates it, right Bella?" said Charlie and the both turned to look at me. He was just rubbing it in my face now; I couldn't take much more of this so I went to the kitchen table and sat down. Since the kitchen was connected to the living room I could still see them and hear their conversation.

"I'm really sorry for my daughter's behavior, but she's a really nice person" Charlie apologized.

"Oh Yes I know, we've met before" said Edward.

'_I know you, I've walked with you once upon a dream'_ the song from sleeping beauty played in my head. Oh God please no.

"Oh that's great then" he said, Edward turned to look at me a little and then turned back to Charlie.

'_I know you the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam'_

"I've never really taught anyone older than ten years old, but I'll do my best" he told Charlie.

'_Yes I know it's true that visions are seldom what they seem_

_But if I know you I'll know what you do'_

No no no no no! Bella stop right now!

'_You'll love me at once_

_The way you did once upon a dream'_

Curse you sleeping beauty!

Before I noticed Edward sat next to me putting his textbooks and notebook on the table.

"Well, I hope I can help you today, where's your homework?" he asked nicely with an obvious fake act.

"I'll bring it, let's just get this over with" I said and got up, went upstairs and brought all my homework.

"I already finished my English and Math homework, I just have trouble with Biology" I told him.

"That's great! Good job!" he said in fake enthusiasm. I gave him an unamused expression on my face "Okay, I'll check your math and English homework and then I'll help you with Biology" he said and began to check it. I just looked at Shane while he went through my homework and thought that it would be best if I didn't bring up the abnormality that happened a couple of days ago. He probably was on the same plan, so I'll just try to be nice and keep calm "Your English homework is all right, you just missed two questions, but I think we should work a little on your math homework" he said. Wow that was quick.

"U-um okay?" I said unsure.

"Let's start with problem number four; you're supposed to use the same method from number one, and you got that one right so I think you should try it again, you probably just got the math wrong" he said.

"Okay, thanks" I said and began working on it. He meticulously analyzed at all the steps I did to get to the answer.

"Oh, you should retry that multiplication, 27463 times 98127 is not 2694861994 you should try that again and then move on with the rest of the steps" he said.

"Okay, I'll do it again" I said and did as told

"Yeah, that's right, now proceed to finding the square root of that number" he said.

Math was a real pain in the ass and biology was hell! But I finally finished it and heck I actually memorized some things! I found it pretty amazing I could not hate him for about… three hours. He passed me a note written on a random blank page from his notebook in his crappy writing. I barely noticed that he didn't use his notes, textbook, or the Sense and Sensibility book (the one assigned for English class) at all. He really was a smartass.

"What exactly did you see and what are your theories?"

I glanced at Charlie, he was still very distracted watching T.V, and then I took the whole notebook and wrote my answer in my equally crappy (if not crappier) writing.

"You were all the way across the parking lot and in a matter of SECONDS you ran all the way to me and stopped the van making a DENT in it with your HAND, that's what I saw and am completely sure I saw. As for my theories, I think you're an alien that hates all these filthy earth humans, or possibly a mermaid, I mean, man, merman tying to seduce and drown all the humans you can and eat them alive."-Bella

"Wow, you have creativity, I'll give you that and I can tell you are quite the invader zim fan. I know you won't drop this, so I'll play your little game for a little while Bella. However, there is a deadline, it makes it all the more exciting, don't you think? You have to fit the pieces and solve the puzzle in two weeks, if you don't you have to completely drop this and forget it ever happened. Okay?"-Edward

"Little game? Call it whatever you want, and yes, I am quite found of invader zim. This sounds like a very tempting deal, but two weeks, really? I barely even have ONE piece of the "puzzle" how do you expect me to guess in two weeks?"-Bella

"Despite yourself, you are pretty smart, and you have the creativity most scientist and detectives don't have, I honestly believe you can do this."-Edward

"Pretty smart? *scoff* whatever you say Einstein. Are you going to tell me if I'm right or wrong?"-Bella

"Yes, I'll tell you if you're right or wrong and, please, you honestly think I can lie? I'm a terrible liar and you know that."-Edward

"Yeah, you are a terrible liar. Okay, you got yourself a deal! Let the games begin =)"-Bella

"This will be very entertaining indeed, and I don't think humans are filthy! Just some."-Edward

"Then why don't you date anyone? You know it's okay to come out, I won't judge you, I've had plenty of queer friends before."-Bella

"I'm not a gay Bella, and my relationships are my business."-Edward

"Okay Okay chill! Sorry I asked. Why did you save me? You could've avoided all this trouble if you would've just let it be. Why did you save me?"-Bella

"Are you kidding me? That's a dumb question! If you see someone, anyone, about to die in front of you and you know you have the power to save them you don't just stand there! I have morals and values Bella."-Edward

"Yeah I have three or four of those too, but that's not what I meant. Nothing was behind me, just my bike, if you would've given me the time I could've simply jumped over it and run. In fact I was about to do it and you came in and stopped the van with your psycho powers. Why did you save me when I could've just done that, you would've saved yourself so much trouble, did you have some sort of panic attack?"-Bella

"I… don't know."-Edward

"Hey, are you two almost done?" asked Charlie while commercials passed; I guess it got a little too silent for him.

"Yes, actually, we're done" answered Edward and stood up "I should be going now, thank you so much for having me and Bella did great" he said.

"Really? Well, that's very good and thank you for coming and helping my daughter out" said Charlie and got up heading to the door to dismiss Edward. Edward and I walked over there too "Again thank you very much"

"Yeah, thanks" I said

"Sure, I hope I helped you Bella" he said and smiled "Have a nice weekend"

"You too" I replied then he left and Charlie closed the door

"Now that wasn't so bad was it?" asked Charlie, I rolled my eyes and went in the kitchen to make dinner.

"Hey, I'm going to go for the groceries for tomorrow, don't answer to anyone alright?" he said.

"I won't! Be careful" I dismissed him and he left.

I smiled at the fact that I had tomorrow free to watch movies, even if it was thanks to Edward, I was just glad I was done with that hell of homework.

A/N: Edward starts to show sign of retardedness, he saved Bella even though she was clearly going to save herself. He could justify it with "but Bella just stood there like retard and wouldn't move" yes, but if they react in a matter of a millisecond than couldn't he see Bella about to save herself? He has a hundred years of experience, plz -.- "(-)Bella" and "(-)Edward" is just to indicate who wrote it, they didn't write it in their notes. I've removed and uploaded chapter 3 so many times! I think I should check my chapters before uploading them more carefully.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I know you probably won't understand Bella right now, but her feelings become clearer throughout the story. She probably comes out as bratty and mean, but she has her reasons.

"Would you like to go to La Push with us Bella?" asked Mike.

"It'll be fun!" agreed Jessica.

I turned to look at Angela silent eating her lunch, she was quiet and I liked her for that. She was kind of like me in a way.

"Are you going Angela?" I asked, if she was going I was going too.

'Yeah, that beach is beautiful, I'll get some great shots from there" she answered and smiled.

"Cool" I said and looked back at Mike and Jessica "I'll go" I accepted their invitation to socialize. Whoa what did I just do?

"But first, we have to go shopping!" said Jessica, oh God why did I get a bad feeling about this? Angela and I exchanged an awkward stare and shrugged. "You know once the dance gets close all the pretty dresses sell out, so we're going early" she explained. Angela and I looked away like the awkward fish we were. I looked at the direction of the Cullen's table and there was nobody there. Another week of absence huh? Very sneaky Edjerk, but I can solve this myself without your stupid help! Smh "So we're up for Port Angeles right Angela, Bella?" asked Jessica who we left hanging there.

"Uh, yeah sure" answered Angela.

"Yeah I'm free this weekend, thanks for asking" I answered. Jessica often forgot to ask if people had plans when she made up her own and usually dragged everyone in them. Angela might let herself get pulled around like that, but I sure as hell wasn't going to let myself get dragged around, plans or no plans!

"Prissy" she said and glared at me, Jessica and I have developed a frienemie relationship from the day we met.

"Uh, okay, so is everyone up to La Push on Sunday?" asked Eric breaking the awkward.

"I'm in!" said Mike

"Yeah me too" said Angela.

"I'm in…" said Jessica slowly taking her glare off me.

"Me too" I said imitating her moves.

It was Friday and normally I was in a good mood on Fridays, but today I was very tired, exhausted even. I fell asleep in a few classes and it wasn't much of a big deal, except in English when the teacher slammed a book on my desk to wake me the fuck up. I don't know why I didn't expect it from him before; he was an asshole like that. When it was time to leave I could barely get on my bike and go home, once I got there it was naptime for me. Charlie can make his own food for a day. But then I imagined all the worst case scenarios which were highly possible and decided to make Charlie lunch before taking a nap; I'm pretty sure it was a lifesaving decision.

I made spaghetti and meatballs and then… NAP TIME! I threw myself on my bed and covered myself with the blanked. Sweet Jesus! I immediately fell asleep and sank into drunken dream world. It would be more accurate if to refer to it as candy land.

"Bella!" called a voice that seemed that of an old man I looked behind myself and saw a huge Shane.

"Shane!" I yelled excited and happy. I ran to him with arms wide open and then realized that what I was about to do was as stupid as throwing yourself off a bridge to reach a flying feather, I stopped.

"What's the matter Bells? It's dream world! Anything is possible here" said Shane.

"Really?" I smiled and made it rain smarty powder.

"Smarties!" shouted Shane with excitement. We twirled around in what seems to be slow motion and by the corner of my eye I saw a ghost. I turned to look at it.

"Oh it's just Edward" I said "Wait Edward?" I started to walk slowly toward him; he had a very creepy and evil expression.

I woke up from my drunken dream, whoa what just happened? While I was trying to get it all together the phone rang.

"H-hello?" I answered.

"Hi sweetie" said Renee. I had so many feelings when I heard her voice: anger, sadness, disappointment and at the same time happiness.

"Sweetie? I don't even call you mom why do you even bother calling me those stupid names?" I asked. I was always pretty rude to my parents and Phil always felt like a stranger. My family was pretty messed up, but I was more messed up.

"I don't know maybe I still have hope that one day you might call me mom" she said with a sad tone to her voice. I paused for a little not knowing what to say, but then decided not to say anything about it.

"What do you want?" I asked.

"I just wanted to see if you were okay" she said.

"O-oh you mean how I've been dealing with my Aspergers, bipolar disorder, ADHD and Tourette Syndrome? Well, yeah I've been fine; I actually even have f-friends! Maybe it's because I am more careful now that my conditions have come to light!" I ranted there was a small silence from her.

"Bella…I'm so…sor-"

"S-save it!" I interrupted her before she could apologize and hung up the phone. It's times like these that I realize that I really am a big time asshole.

I noticed that there was barely any light coming from my window, it's probably around six or seven PM. The phone rang again.

"God damn what do you fucking want?" I asked angry, I felt good because I didn't stutter while trying to sound threatening.

"Oh um, I'm sorry Bella?" said a confused voice, it wasn't Renee, it was Jessica.

"Oh! I'm sorry, that wasn't meant for you, I thought you were someone else, sorry" I apologized awkwardly.

"Oh okay, I totally get it! I was wondering if you were still up for Port Angeles tomorrow?" she asked unsure, my previous explosive behavior probably startled her a little bit.

"Gee, I would really love to, but…"

"Of course Bella would love to go!" said another voice on the phone, it was Charlie. God damn he picked up the other line!

"You are?" asked Jessica with a certain arrogance.

"I'm her father and I'm pretty sure Bella would love to go" he said

"W-whoa Char… dad I'm not very…" I tried to object.

"Great! I'll be there to pick her up early and don't worry Mr. Swan, we won't be aout too late" said Jessica.

"Oh course, you girls have fun"

"Great, bye" said Jessica and hung up the phone. I quickly ran downstairs.

"The fuck Charlie why did you do that!" I yelled at him

"You need to have more fun" he answered and hung up the phone.

"FUN! I have tons of f-fun, loads of it! P-piles and buckets of fun all the time!" I argued he chuckled a little.

"Really? Doing what?"

"I-I watch movies"

"Bella, watching movies by yourself ALL THE TIME is not fun, why don't you try watching it with someone else?"

"B-because fuck you!" I snapped, I was so mad at him, my mom, Jessica, at Shane for not being real, I just felt tears stream down my face while I went upstairs, shut the door locking it and throwing myself on the bed.


	6. Chapter 6

"Get in loser, we're going shopping!" said Jessica, I groaned and got in the car, this was going to be a looooooong ride.

Jessica and Angela were awfully chatty on the front seats while I just stared outside of the window on the back seat. I've got to admit the trees in the forests looked very green and beautiful throughout the trip. Why did I agree to this again? Oh yeah I was forced to this, right.

On the background I could hear the radio tuning to a song from grease and I started to wonder, wouldn't it be extremely obnoxious if life were like those musical movies? I can just imagine: "Sally, I'm breaking up with you" "ok BRB singing about my feelings 'He's the reason for the tear drops on my guitar!'". I smile at the thought a little.

"What do you think Bella?" asked Jessica turning back at me, she was at a stop sign so no danger was attempted.

"Umm uh…" I look at Angela mouthing the word yes "Yes" I answer and she just smiles and turns back around.

"Ok, it's official, pink is the color" she said and kept chatting with Angela.

I really like Angela she's gotten my back throughout this whole trip and looks at me with the "I've been there bro, I got your back" look.

When we got there we looked at a few places for dresses and I was just giving opinions half asleep. I remembered I could use this opportunity to buy a book; there was a library nearby. I loved books as long as it had pictures.

"So how do I look?" asked Jessica getting out of a fitting room with a revealing pink dress.

"Like a whore"

"Perfect" she said and went in again, I guess our relationship lightened up a little bit, or we just turned into enemies and I had no idea.

Angela was sitting next to me, she had already chosen her dress and we were just waiting for Jessica.

"Hey, I'm going to buy a book, since this will obviously be long I'll meet you here again okay?" I told Angela.

"Alone?" she asked surprised.

"Sure, I mean what's the worst that can happen?"

Crap crap crap crap! Now I know why I should've worked more on my physical condition when my teachers told me to! I just never imagined I would be running for my life, why didn't I just listen to Angela?

I take a turn hoping to find help but it ended up being a dead end. I could see one of the strangers taking out something sharp. I closed my eyes and my life flashed through my eyes, which was mostly hours spent on the internet, talking to Shane and eating smatries. Well, I guess this is it, mom, dad, no matter how much you doubt this I really do love you guys, Phil don't send me your mix tapes I only listen to Taylor Swift, One Direction and Disney songs, Jimmy, I'm sorry for losing your hamster in second grade, aunt Mary, I ate the last cookie not Lucas, grandma, I stole the chocolates from the store, but you got to admit that was pretty sneaky. Bella! You know grandma wouldn't be proud of this even if she did eat most of the chocolates! But… Nope! Awww…

"Hurry up and get in stupid!" I heard a familiar voice scream at me. I opened my eyes and saw a silver car. It could either be a pedophile, or a pedophile. Wait a second, how did the guy know you were there anyway? It was a dead end? "Stop thinking and get in or I swear I will leave you there!" said the guy angrily. I decide it's time to stop thinking and get in the car of the pedo. He quickly drove away back to the road and it was then that I turned to look at him.

"E-Edward? Crap! Now I owe you double! Quit saving me or I will end up being your slave! Thank you!" I said and looked at the window.

"Man, I save your life and that's all I get?"

"Well, you can have a smartie?" I asked offering one I had in my pocket. He looked at me with a pissed off expression and there was silence.

"Yes" he finally said and took it.

"S-so… how did you know I was there?" I asked

"I just can't believe some people can be so perverse, do you even know what they were planning on doing to you?"

"O-Ok, y-yeah let's talk about that and ignore how terribly bad you tried to dodge my question" I agreed to go with his flow.

"It's just so horrible" he continued as if I didn't say anything and began to eat smarties, but as soon as he took the first one in he made a slightly disgusted face expression. Oh well haters gonna hate on my smarties.

"The world is horrible, you just have to deal with it" I told him, probably the wisest thing I've said without stuttering. "How are you so sure what they were thinking anyway? W-What if they just wanted cereal or something?" and the genius that processed you has left

"Bella that makes no sense, and they were planning on killing you to eat your insides"

"Ew"

"You bet ew!" he agrees.

There was a song I didn't like so I reached to change the song, Edward did so too and I felt his cold hand for a second and the quickly put it back on the wheel.

"Whoa man, are you cold? B-but you're so covered, ever considered wearing gloves?" I asked.

"Uhm, that's a great idea Bella!" he said in a rather nervous way that for I second I failed to realize and took it as a serious compliment.

"Oh my gosh Edward! I have more theories!" I remembered and I could see him get more nervous.

"Oh, um, that's great why don't you tell me all about it?"

"A-are you kidding me? How is it great I have more theories of you? I might bust your secret and that's great?" I ask, suddenly I felt ignored.

"Well I doubt that" he murmured as if it were to himself.

"Are you saying I'm dumb now? So what? I'm too dumb to find out your s-stupid little secret now?" I asked even angrier than before.

"You just completely contradicted yourself Bella! Why is nothing okay with you?" he asked, he was mad now too.

"I'm just so tired of being ignored all the time and nobody taking me s-seriously! I-is it because of m-my st-tuttering? Because t-that's t-tourettes syndrome! G-get it in y-your head!" I yelled at him.

"Bella, I take you seriously, I would love to sit and listen to your theories all day if I could! I'd love to spend all day with you, simply because you're that amusing and so…unpredictable to me" he said lowering his volume to normal talk in the second sentence "And I really wish I could help you with your family problems, but I can't because you could honestly feel anything about it! Sad, happy indifferent, I just don't know"

"Family problems? Who, H-how, w-what? Who told you anything?" I asked.

"Charlie, when I went to tutor you" he answered as if it were the most obvious thing.

"Edward, h-he never SAID anything about that. B-but today in the morning he told me that he was THINKING about it the whole time you were there" I told him. He opened his eyes wide as if he had just seen a ghost.

"Oh shi-"

A/N: Ermahgerd! A serious moment for once! Don't you just love how I have that nasty habit of making normal conversations escalate into fights? Geez, I haven't written anything for this story in a long time! BTW the final line that Edward says is "Oh shit" but I decided to cut it off because it makes it more dramatic! =O Oh Edward you dumbbutt, you just gave yourself away! Please excuse any spelling mistakes =)


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: Guise, guise srsly, GUISE Listen to this song: love me dead by ludo, it describes Edward and Bella's relationship in this fanfiction perfectly (kind of)! And it's also a good song! =)

"What's he thinking about?" I ask pointing at a random guy.

"Bella!" whispered Edward and lowered my arm "It's rude to point at others"

"Isn't it rude to invade people's privacy without them even knowing?" I asked.

"Bella, I can't help it, I would if I could, but I can't and I'm really so-"

"Y-yeah yeah, tell me what's he's thinking" I interrupted. He laughed a little and then told me.

"He's thinking about how wonderful it is when kittens spoon each other" he said without even turning to look at him.

"That's so weird! How about h-her?" I asked nodding to the girl's direction.

"I think that's enough invading of people's privacy" he said "I really hate to spoil your fun, you are so beautiful when you smile, but I really think we need to go now" he said smiling "Which reminds me what were you even doing walking around alone?" I froze for a little.

"Oh my God! Jessica and Angela!" I reached to my pocket to get my phone out but it was gone. Crap! It must've fallen when I was running around. Charlie warned me about this happening with my small pockets.

Just then I saw two girls enter the restaurant, it was them! They looked worried, I ran to Angela and hugged her.

"Bella! Where were you?! Oh my gosh I was so worried!" said Angela, if I had listened to her in the first place I wouldn't have been close to being eaten, but I don't want to worry her even more.

"Well, I went to the bookstore and found a friend and I lost my phone and we spent a long time looking for it" I lied.

"Oh, you mean this?" asked Angela pulling a phone from her purse.

"How did you-"

"You left it on the chair you dumbass" she explained before I could ask the whole question.

"O-oh, well that was embarrassing" I said taking the phone from her hand.

"You've done worse, trust me" said Jessica.

"Well, I think I should escort Bella home" said Edward from behind my back and both looked up surprised, especially Jessica "After what happened, I think it's better she leaves now" he said.

We said goodbye to each other and Edward and I get in the car and off we go. That was a lot of ands!

"So, uh, you can't read my mind right?" I asked.

"No" he answered.

"Good, you'd probably be mentally ill if you could"

"Bella, you have no idea…"

"Well, I guess I don't" I agreed smiling a little "Why can't you read my mind though?"

"I don't know, maybe because you don't have one" he said and then chuckled, but he stopped once he saw how unamused I was.

He seemed to be too uncomfortable to apologize, but I didn't care. Honestly the joke was kind of funny, but I normally don't like people to say stuff like that because they were probably true. I looked at the widow beside Edward and saw a blur, and then I looked at the speed he was at.

"Do you always drive this fast?" I asked

"Yeah, does it bother you?" he asked

"Nah, I don't mind" I answered

"Aren't you afraid we might crash and die, or go to jail?" he asked.

There's a reason why Charlie got me a bike instead of a car, I crashed badly with the last one and it was surprising I came out healthy. It would just be stupid to test my luck again, but the experience just made me feel more fearless with stuff like this, in other words it made me even more stupid than what I already was.

"You have no idea Edward…" I said mocking him, he chuckled a little.

A/N: Sorry it's short, but that's how it's meant to be. The next one will probably be longer!


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: hahahahahahaha

I updated hehe

Today was a shitty day, well, so far. Edward drove me to school today for some random reason, he probably wanted to see me get mad for no reason (which he succeeded doing) because he was laughing. Charlie didn't make a big deal about it though; I guess he actually trusted Edward. Well, if I was my father I'd trust anyone except for me honestly. Did I mention I hate attracting attention from other people? Well, I'm pretty sure I mentioned it to Edward, which is probably why his smile grew bigger when we got to school and everyone stared at us. I swear I would've punched Edward in the face if it weren't for my terrible grades, conduct problems would just make everything worse.

No matter how mad I was at that stupid jerk, I had questions to ask and he nicely invited me to sit with him in lunch. It was just the two of us and I was so sure he was going to do something I'll end up being pissed about.

"So, what is it you wanted to ask me?" he began with his annoying smirk, oh god, if he pisses me off one more time I will punch him in the face.

"Um, uh, I-I, uh, um… good question" I completely forgot what I was going to ask because of his stupid face.

"Take your time" he said and began to read a book while I took about a minute to remember what I was going to ask.

"Oh yeah! Remember those tutorials?" I asked "I actually improved a little! Thanks a lot, really" I thanked

"Oh, um, you're welcome" he said, I guess that kind of threw him off since I was normally mean.

"And also, there's nothing in the world that can convince me you aren't a mermai-man merman" I stated.

"Well, I respect your opinion" he said

"You're not a mermaid right?"

"No"

"Well, it's the only thing that makes sense, you attract so many girls and feed off their, whatever it is they feel and then break their heart and drown them!" I said, he seemed to be holding in a laugh.

"As accurate as that sounds Bella, no, I'm not a merman and I don't drown girls" he said smiling but then it quickly turned into a frown "but I guess you could say I stoop as low as to drowning girls"

"S-so you're a murderer?" I asked trying to confirm what he just said.

"I guess you could say that" he answered

"Man, shut the fuck up, you're not a murderer you stupid" I said

"You don't know anything about me Bella" he said in a cold way

"I know I don't know anything about you but I highly doubt you'll kill me"

"How are you so sure?"

"I'm not sure; it's just that if you wanted to kill me you would've done it already. Let the van hit me" I said. Why was I still arguing with him about this? If he told me he was a murderer shouldn't I be running away from him? Whatever, it's not like I ever listened to my common sense anyway.

"You don't get it Bella, you know what? Just stay away from me as far as possible!" he said with a tone mix of sadness and anger.

"Ouch that really hurt Edward" I said feeling offended. I gathered my stuff and got up it was only then that I actually noticed that I was late to class because we were the only ones still in the cafeteria "motherfucker" I mumbled to myself.

"Sometimes, it's good to skip class" he said.

"Edward shut the fuck up!" I said and left the cafeteria, I could hear him laugh at me but I didn't care anymore.

I walked through the hallway and only saw very few people who were probably skipping. I always wanted to skip, but I never had the guts to do it. I normally went to a school where every kid was higher than their grades, it was kind of sad actually. I never got to be like them though because I was such a loner and everyone hated me, so I never really hung out with the wrong crowd. I wanted to try it though, to fit in. I found a powder that looked like the one kids snorted in school and I snorted it. It felt weird, but good, it's only now that I find out it's actually smartie powder, which is pretty stupid now that I look at it. Renee saved my life, but I'll never admit to that out loud because of my huge pride.

I knocked three times at the door of the classroom. A student opened it and I went inside.

"Isabella swan, it's nice of you to finally join us" the teacher said sarcastically. The only type of sarcasm I actually memorized was the teacher sarcasm, because I seemed to get that often.

"Well it's not nice to join you guys in whatever you're doing"

"Please take seat Ms. Swan and stop the attitude" he said, I did as told and paid attention to the rest of the class.

Next thing I know, I'm at the nurse for questionable reasons. I try to recall what had happened but something really told me it was a bad idea to even try to remember.

"Oh you're awake" said the nurse realizing I was awake "before you ask, you fainted at the sight of blood. This is pretty lame if you ask me"

"But I didn't ask you so I didn't need your extra information"

"Bella, just thank this kind lady for attending you" said Edward who was in there for suspicious reasons, if you ask me (A/N: hehehehe sorry I just had to)

"Thank you" I thanked reluctantly.

"This is why I hate this generation, it's so doomed" she said while she left to the other room

"What the fuck are you doing here Edward?" I asked angry.

"I carried you here and that's the thanks I get?"

"You better stop doing that you jerk, thank you" I thanked and he smiled

"Stop doing what? Saving your life and doing nice things for you?"

"Yes, stop doing that, it's really pissing me off" I answered his question, that's when he broke down laughing "what's so funny?" he tried to catch his breath before answering my question.

"Why can't I just stay away from you?" he managed to get out still laughing. I shrugged

"B-beats me, you're the one that told me to stay away from you"

"I know it's just so hard for me to stay away from you, so it might be easier for you to stay away from me"

"That's weird; normally people find it easy to stay away from me"

"I don't, I guess it's because I like you" I kept silent for a little trying to take in what he just said. Nobody had ever said that to me before.

A/N: hopefully Jacob will be in the next chapter.


End file.
